A VOW OF HATE by Lylah James

“He was just another casualty of my mistakes and the end result of my sins. I was the villain in this messy fairy tale.” 

This is the first book of Lylah James that I read so far and I'm glad that this did not disappoint. I have mixed feelings about the characters of this book though.

SYNOPSIS

“Once upon a time…”

Hate consumed him.
Love wrecked me.
That night changed both our lives, turning our beginning into something toxic. We were poison together and there was no antidote.

Our story began like any other fairy tale ended.
With a beautiful wedding.
One kiss.
Two rings.
Three vows.
Killian Spencer became my lawfully wedded husband and I, his dutiful wife.

But he was no Prince Charming. He didn’t come to save me… and he vowed there would be no happily ever after.
And me?

Just like the legends I'd read as a little girl, I always thought I’d be the princess in my fairy tale.
Well, I was the villain of our love story.

“Till death do us part…”

    As what I said, I had a love-hate relationship with the characters of this book especially Juliana and Killian. At first I pitied Juliana so much because of how Killian was treating her. I mean, that man really loved Gracelynn so much that his spite on Juliana is unreachable. He blames her because he believes that Juliana is the reason why the love of his life died. He does everything just to spite Juliana and I was like, man just stop it will you? But then came Juliana's confessions and I'm like... daaaammmmnnnnnnn! What the heck! At first I was so confused I have to stop reading so I can internalize everything and understand everything that Juliana is saying. And when everything made sense, I was like... ooohhhhhh heeellllll! What the..??? That is why I can't blame Killian wholly when he got so mad with Juliana because of how she played him and how she lied to him all this time. She has all the time in the world to tell the truth to him before the accident but no, she kept on stalling until it was all too late and kept the burden of all her lies and the truth about everything including her identity. And how come Killian did not recognize Juliana's voice?? She said she has to change the pitch of her voice when she talks but come on! There must be at some point where he can recognize her voice even just a little. Well, that is why I can't blame Killian wholly in hating her after her confessions.

    As for Killian, at first I can't understand how his hatred to Juliana knows no bound when in fact Juliana was actually in that car accident. Then he has to call her Beasty all the time and the way he acted during their wedding... man I'm just speechless. His vow is full of spite and venom and he didn't even kiss her and then he has to leave her at the altar after the wedding! What the heck man?! And after their wedding, he left her in the island for 6 freaking months without contact. And when he returned to the island to fulfill his part of the contract, he did everything to show Juliana how she hated her like okay we get it you hate her! Give her a break! He even sold her mare- her beloved mare! What a cold heartless bastard! But after spending time with her in the island for a month, he got used to her presence and then everything went downhill when he heard Juliana talking to Simon (Gracelynn's boyfriend) that Grace was pregnant! And that's when he lost it. Like, really lost it! I have to say, I was kinda shocked when he said HE.WAS.A.FREAKING.VIRGIN. Ahmm, if I remember correctly, his and Juliana's age difference is 10 years and Juliana was 22 years old after 3 years of their marriage and Killian finally decided to consummate their marriage so that means he is 32... am I right? And he was a virgin because he wants to wait for Gracelynn. Anyway, I'm not here to judge okay? So that's when the confession happened when he finally got to see the face of Juliana without the veil. Ohohooooo... and he called her Gracelynn!

    I got so stressed and tired after the confession of Juliana to be honest and I realized, yeah, Killian has all the right to be angry with her because girl! 3 freaking years... for 3 freaking years he suffered and mourned the death of the love of his life when she's not even dead all this time and has been on his side most of the time! I was actually  half crying while reading Juliana's confession. That is why I have a love-hate relationship with these two because of the decisions that they made that they have to suffer both. But then after that confession, Killian kinda got softhearted a tiny bit with Juliana and when their relationship is slowly going on the right direction, everything has to go downhill again and now the supposed to be accident of Juliana and Gracelynn now made sense because it was not an accident after all! When she got kidnapped by her father to finish whatever was supposed to happen during the car accident, Killian finally realized that all this time he did not stopped loving her even he found out about her identity. I have to say her father's reason on why he wanted to kill her was so dense? Like really? Do you really have to go down that road? I mean I have read a lot of books about the father finding out that his daughter/son is actually not his but he does not go batshit crazy to the point that he wanted to kill them? But then I guess he really is batshit crazy and an insecure lunatic.

    Anyway, I was so happy how this book ended. I always wanted to read scenes about the heroine giving birth because it's so cute that's why I'm so happy we got to read Cameron Theodore Spencer's birth!

    This is so far the longest review I did. Haha. Maybe because I read this book in one sitting from 11pm yesterday up til 5:30am and I still remember the feelings while I was reading this. Haha. There are parts of this book which are kinda predictable but the story is nonetheless still really good! I recommend! 👍

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5